Masa Lalu Masa Hadapan

Assalam...

Pernahkah anda berimpian untuk kembali ke masa lalu?
Pernahkah anda berimpian untuk pergi ke masa hadapan?

Masa lalu dan masa hadapan,
Dua zaman yang sama sebenarnya,
Kedua-duanya menjadi taruhan manusia membina hidup,
Sama ada akan kaya,
Ataupun jatuh baring melutut meminta-minta,

Tiada yang terlepas daripada kedua-duanya,
Masa lalu yang dianggap kenangan,
Dan masa hadapan yang digelar harapan,

Namun, ada juga ketika masa lalu disesali kehadirannya,
Kerana masa lalu, masa hadapan tiada,
Tetapi, ramai juga yang lupa,
Tiada masa lalu, tiada juga masa hadapan,

Usaha yang ditabur dan disemai di masa lalu,
Dapat dibajak dan dituai di masa hadapan,
Buktinya keceriaan dan senyuman senang,
Menggantikan kerut dan lelah yang memanjang,

Setiap yang hidup akan mati,
Hidup itu masa lalu,
Mati itu masa hadapan,

Isikanlah yang ditengah dengan benih-benih kejayaan,
Hidup subur sebagai pohon berteduh dikala hujan,
Sesekali dicantas memberi kemasan yang sopan,
Sambil ditemani nyanyian merdu burung-burung kayangan,

Masa lalu masa hadapan,
Jangan kau cemari dengan kekotoran,
Jangan kau gelapkan dengan dakwat hitam,
Sinarinya dengan lampu terang,
Putihkannya dengan keimanan.

Ridiculous

Assalamualaikum..

Hello World...

Happy fasting...

It's been 2 months since my last entry in here.... I am working now but not as a practical teacher anymore but as an internship student at ILPKL... The surrounding here in ILP is good and the people also nice... I will be in here until the end of August, meaning my internship is only for 2 months... Can't wait till the last day of this tiring responsibility... Miss my UNI and my friends in Johor Bahru..

Ok, what I wanna tell you is that now I just realize, my blog is filled mostly with my love fantasy story... Filled with my story of my fantasy future spouse, my story of my fantasy future life, the story of my life whose thirst for love....Hahahaha.... What a pathetic blog I have.. This is so sad.. Shame on me...

But honestly that would be my true intention when I sign up blogger.com  for the first time 4 years ago...This blog is my space to express my feeling towards anything especially my love world... Hahahahahaha... I am so pathetic... I guess a person like me don't deserve a blog of myself... 

But who cares? I don't think people out there would be so excited to care about my blog as long as I don't write anything controversial right? Hmm, sometimes I feel so annoyed with my own personal expression... I feel like a desperate woman... But to delete all of the annoyed stuffs, I can't do it... Maybe next time but not in the meantime..

Maybe I just need to calm down a bit, to just breathe, relax and think again of what have I done to this blog...A little correction and new consciousness about this life is what I need to bring up the mood again..Yeah, maybe it's all I need after all...

Ok, see you next time...

Soulmate

Assalamualaikum....
How are you today?
Me? I'm fine...


It's been a long time since my last entry in here, so to start the new month I'm writing today... Recently, I watched a lot... WE GOT MARRIED is my favourite nowadays... Love watching Korean couples live their life as a married husband and wife... And to think of it, marriage is not an easy job after all...

When I think about it, how would my life gonna be when I get to marry someone? Even though I prefer single the most, but marriage is important for me too... Living with opposite gender in the same house together kind a make me scary... Don't know what to expect.. I'm a fussy woman actually...Hate to think that I have to share everything with strangest... I know that HE is my husband but ahhhh!!!! I don't know....

To be honest, I've never had a boyfriend before...For me, a relationship with a guy is not profitable... I don't like to share my life with someone.. I don't like to tell other people about where I'm going or with whom I with or how is my day... I tried once dating with a guy but it last for only 2 weeks... For the 1st week, it goes  just nice but when it comes to the 2nd week, everything feels different.. I felt annoyed with everything he did... He is kind but maybe he is not for me... I don't deserve him.. I don't feel anything inside me... That's why I quit... I lied to him.. I told him I've had another guy, so he hate me and leave..

From that day, I live my life with just only me to care...But I like someone during my study.. I confessed to him last year but he rejected me.. Sad? No I don't feel anything honestly... Maybe I'm just a girl with no heart inside... hahahaha... I told my friends about my illness but they said it was only because I'm not meeting my truly soulmate yet.. Once I meet him, there would be no coupling, no engagement, only marriage... And I will become the most loyal wife and loving partner ever exist...I just laughed..

It is hard you know... I hope I can be a good and lovable partner for my future soulmate... Stay by his side together during hardship and happy days until the end of his life... Perfecting him with all my effort... Even though I'm not pretty, not romantic, not rich, not intelligent, not in style, not sexy.. but I will do my best to be the perfect one for him... And he accept me sincerely as his partner..

To my future soulmate, please treat me well... I'm not asking much... Appreciation is just what I want... See you when I see you (even though we don't know each other outside).. Take care until then... Love you...

Me Now as a Teacher

Assalamualaikum and happy day...
How are you today?
Fine? Good!!!


So, it's been a long time since my last entry in here.. That is why I'm writing something today... Now I just want to share a bit of my days as a new teacher, well actually a new practical teacher here in Setapak (Kolej Vokasional Setapak)... In this school, I'm a welding teacher...

Ok, firstly I'm not that excited actually of being a teacher but seriously I love to share especially when it comes to knowledge, new knowledge...Even though the passion of being a teacher is not part of my game's life but I don't mind to teach others...

So, in this school I got to control over 20 students (29 is the accurate one) 25 boys and 4 girls... I love them honestly.. They are just like my younger brother and sister... They are still kids so I understand if they are a bit naughty... For me, school is a place to develop yourself, so learning with fun is part of the teaching system... I don't want my students to have a no fun teenagehood... I want them to have a fun memory of school, of being a student... So when they left the school later, they will have a good things to share with others especially to their family (kids)...

I know the feeling of success... I know the feeling of a failure... I kown the feeling of frust... Because I've experienced it all before... I want them to feel all of that, because that is what makes me grow until what I become right now... Experience teach us of how to be a person...

Seriously, being a teacher is not as easy as you see pyhsically... A teacher is a person with full responsibility to your upcoming life... Love and hatred, they know the feeling... Even though teacher comes in different packages (different teaching method, different ability, different attitude) but they are the one who don't approve quit because they always care about you...

Now I know the feeling of a teacher... I love my teachers... Thank you teachers....
And to my students, thank you for your acceptance...I love you all...

Don't know what to say... Speechless

Assalamualaikum...
How are you today?
Good day isn't?


So, hari ini saya nak bercerita sedikit tentang tajuk di atas iaitu Speechless...Speechless yang saya maksudkan adalah ketiadaan kata - kata yang nak diberikan kepada satu kejadian ini.. Okay, honestly mula - mula tu tak adalah excited sangat nak tulis pasal ni tapi bila kejadian itu makin lama makin menarik, saya pun terus tergerak buka blog and update...

Okay firstly it all started after the result of my coming practical teaching... For the school I choose, there would be 4 students from my UNI (3 girls 1 boy).... I know the boy but I don't know one of the girls.. One thing I'm sure about her is that she's married...

Hmmmm, the boy from what I know and heard is engaged but then what's interesting about him is that he's flirting on me and he's flirting me through my friends.. hahahaha.. I guess he's not that brave... What a "CLEVER" boy... Okay, how do I know he's flirting me? Let me tell you the story....

Masa saya balik semula ke kolej after my short holiday at home, saya di approach my friend and  she told me ada seseorang nak mengorat...I'm not very surprised with the news but then when she show me the person, I was what? Him?  Hey, bukan dia dah bertunang ke? Kenapa dia tulis macam tu? But then, I just ignore it because first : may be he's trying to joke with my friend, two : hey, he's someone fiancée and three : I don't like him (hahahaha)...

He's not that bad actually.. From all the way I know him, he's quite beragama (pernah jadi imam masa solat hajat), sedap suara dia, baik dan kadang-kadang nakal juga (dalam exam pun meniru), and sebenarnya saya tak pernah pun bercakap dengan dia.. saya hanya tahu dia dari electrical course dan tunang orang... That's all.. What surprised me? WHY ME? Hmm pelik, pelik.. Nak kata saya cantik, kawan saya yang seorang lagi tu lagi cantik dan comel, ramai lagi kawan saya yang lebih baik dari saya.. Nak kata saya ni baik or menepati citarasa dia (bertudung labuh macam tunang dia) tak juga sebab saya ni pakai biasa-biasa je...

Kenapa agaknya tunang orang berperangai macam tu? Lelaki memang macam tu ke? Seorang lelaki bila dah bertunang tetap akan berperangai macam tu ke? Kalau nak di ikutkan, saya pun ada juga kawan lelaki yang bertunang, tapi perangai elok je, tak pernah pula tengok dia menggatal dengan orang lain... Macam-macam dunia ni...Berbeza orang berbeza perangai...

I thought the story ends there but he did it again during my study group with my friends a few weeks later...Now this time I am surprise, very surprise.. Why? Sebab dia makin berani... Dia berchatting dengan kawan saya masa kami study group at that time, then tiba-tiba kawan saya cakap dia kirim salam, saya pun senyum jela..Then kawan saya pun cakap la yang kemungkinan saya akan bertukar sekolah masa LM nanti sebab saya apply untuk LM ke Indonesia, then dia balas (lebih kurang macam ni ayat dia) - " Ooooo, yeke.. Kalo macam tu tak dapat la saya nak ngorat F****.. Baru cadang nak couple dengan dia ".... Saya dengar je, saya terus gelak gila-gila dengan kawan-kawan saya...Ada ke tunang orang cakap macam tu dengan orang yang dia tak pernah pun cakap or kenal... Kalau dia kawan saya boleh la saya terima sebab kawan-kawan saya memang jenis yang suka bergurau macam tu...saya pun jenis orang yang tak ambil kisah (gelaran dalam geng - perempuan hati batu, tak ada perasaan), tapi ini dia yang saya tak kenal pun...

Ya Allah... tak tahu nak cakap or respon apa lagi... Yang peliknya, dekat FB pun mana ada dia friends, macam mana la dia boleh ada niat nak guna nama saya... Adoooooyaiiiiiii!!!!! Dunia dunia... Dengan kawan-kawan saya berani dia luahkan, tapi dengan saya tak berani pula nak cuba cakap or approach....Hmmmm... Adakah ini cara dia bergurau? Adakah ini cara dia berkawan? Entahlah, saya pun tak tahu nak cakap..

Ok, mula-mula kena rasa biasa je tapi bila dah berani sangat sampai macam tu sekali, saya mula rasa tak selesa... Sebab dia guna nama saya, kalau nama orang lain saya tak kisah tapi dia guna nama saya... Saya bukannya apa, kalau dia buat perangai tak senonoh tu privately dengan saya, tak apa sebab ianya secret.. Tapi bila dah melibatkan sampai kawan-kawan saya, saya rasa tercabar pula..Macam saya ni bahan untuk gurau senda.. Nanti apa kata orang lain? Saya boleh dikatakan perosak hubungan orang padahal saya tak tahu apa-apa pun...Dan yang saya tak boleh terima adalah dia TUNANG ORANG...

Mungkin sesetengah orang cakap ala baru tunang, tapi bagi saya itu adalah ikatan yang menunjukkan hak seseorang... Saya tak nak jadi perosak hubungan orang lain lagi-lagi nak menyakitkan hati kaum saya sendiri...Minta dijauhkan semua tu..

Okay la dah banyak sangat saya meluahkan kali ini.. Harap-harap tiada lagi kes-kes yang boleh buat saya nak gelak sampai terguling-guling selepas ini.. Semoga semuanya aman sejahtera..

Wassalam...